Symbiosis

Love is a durable fire in the mind for ever,
Never dead, Never sick, Never Old,
From itself there’s no turning back.

Well, since childhood I believed in love, do not know how It is possible I always believed the same for the term love, it is not my experience that taught me what’s the love, believe it or not. I just know, it is either a boon from God or Curse from God, honestly I do not know.

Love is of three types, I mean the word can be used in three different essence. It can be used for total three different meanings.

1.      The love towards other human kind, in this genre we can hem in friends, relatives, or fellow subordinates. Well this is default love that is in every person, with different level of proportions.

2.      The love towards your blood, in this genre we can enclose parents and siblings.

3.      The love, only one and only love, that is selfless, and utterly unreasonable one, which is hardly seen in this world (not sure of other countries, but damn sure of India), mostly exists in only movies.

People say it is very Godly the love of parents, well I say, of course it will be Godly and it will be unbeatable, afterall it is your own blood. I am not trying to disparage the love of parents, strictly speaking, if at all I am given with a choice to make between parents and other person. Undoubtedly I will choose my parents without a second of hesitation. Of course I love them the most, they are the only ones I ever got. There is no doubt about my love on my parents.  It’s blood, to care, love and endure. I bet there will be hardly couples who give the same amount of love to the orphans. I and you know how orphans are treated in this world. Well, I am augmenting this in here because I just wanted to depict that blood is all matters in parents love.

Love that born when a girl sees a boy / boy sees a girl. The love you fall in love, not the one you oblige to fall. A magic of love, mostly seen in movies. Well, this love, I believe it exists, but I am cursed; I got none. I have been never loved by a boy that selflessly, and that madly, and that deeply, and that truly who can give his life for me. Never, I was not gifted to even taste with that kind of feeling. I bet no one can even imagine the pain I possess knowing that I will be never loved by any one other than my parents. When they are gone, I am all alone in this world of trillions, none to love. It is the only part that freaks me out. Can you guess how much it sucks? One guy who can die for me, without any reason and without anticipating anything in return, so selflessly . . . I am cursed in this case. I miss to be loved, I miss to be pampered, I miss to be the  special one who will get me stars in the sky merely for my single smile, I miss to be the only one, who matters to hm than anyone or anything. Undoubtedly and apparently I am not blessed with that one guy. I even lost hope to find my one. I know love and I don’t have one. Sucks, isn’t it?

I really do not know what it is to be in love with one stranger, I do not know what it is to continue life with your love knowing the peril in it, I do not know what it is to live a life just based on trust, I do not know what it is to choose a life without security, I do not know what it is to dare and go ahead from your parents for a stranger who claims to love you the most, more than your blood - parents, I do not know the touch of his hand when we are eloping, I do not even know how it is to run away from your home for your love, I do not even know what it is and how it feels if your true love proposes you, “I love you.”. I do not even know how will I be able to survive without love. This extant life is solely because of my parents love.

I always believed and always dreamed that one day I will get the one who loves me the most, now that both belief and dream is diminished. It’s rotting in my mind knowing that I will never be loved by a guy so selflessly accepting as I am, for what I am. The only life I am left with by my fate is to choose the life of symbiosis. In fact it is not a choice, it is the only option to me left in front of my life's path to choose by Almighty. Don’t want in, no way out. The only thing I hate the most, is now my only choice to survive. Only path I gotta travel is that path, path of symbiosis. Symbiosis, the irony of my life.

All I want in my life is the one who is the first one to come in my mind when I want to share some thing with anyone, and irony of my life is I will never get that one, not at least in this final phase of my life. I seee in my future only Symbiosis