Broken heart cannot talk

Even before I the dream could finish, I waked up.

It's so hard to me daily keep fighting. I am not sure when I will be tired of fighting. I wanna let go the control. These feelings are not weak just to disappear from the mind's crust. They are too strong, too way ahead of my strength. I underestimated those feelings. The fight, win but they keep coming back like a virus. They are out numbered to my fight capabilities.

I wish I could just give up. I really wish that . . . do not know why I am so reluctant to let go myself. Trying hard, I know I am not trying hard enough. But it's all what I can do. There's nothing that I can do about it.

Can I?